The Golden Door in San Marcos, California, has been running its brand of luxury wellness since 1958 — long before retreat culture was a thing. Comedians Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak, co-hosts of the wellness podcast Poog, recently spent a week there on assignment for Condé Nast Traveler, and their account makes the place sound part spa, part summer camp for wealthy adults.
The numbers alone tell you what kind of operation this is. A week runs about $13,000 per person, even for couples sharing a room. One guest on their stay was celebrating her 118th visit — the writers worked out that amounts to roughly $1.5 million spent at the resort, though profits reportedly go to charity. Pass the 100-visit mark and you earn a brass plaque hung on a brass tree in the bamboo forest.
The week follows a fixed Sunday-to-Sunday rhythm, with most weeks reserved for women, plus men's and co-ed weeks. From the moment you book, everything is handled: a long intake call captures your allergies, food preferences, class choices (think taiko drumming, intuitive pottery, chakra yoga) and whether you want spring or alkaline water in your room. Leave the jewellery, makeup and perfume at home — robes and clothing are provided, and you can even specify portion sizes.
Arrival involves crossing a wooden bridge that deliberately changes direction partway across, so dark energies supposedly can't follow you in. Once inside, guests get a printed list of everyone's names and home cities — billionaires, authors, oil heiresses, venture capitalists — so nobody has to endure awkward dinner-table interrogation. Days start with a 5:45 a.m. five-mile hike (Berlant ended up going every morning), followed by an optional schedule of classes, treatments and pool time. Evenings bring communal dinners, activity announcements, and a post-meal walk to the famous golden gates, where you knock three times and set intentions.
The food draws almost entirely from the property's sprawling organic farm under chef Greg — tempeh ramen, gazpacho, sourdough pancakes, potassium broth by the pool, and ginger tea after every meal. Novak smuggled in emergency ramen and cereal, then never touched them; requests for second breakfasts were fulfilled within minutes. Both writers noted that the removal of daily decision-making — no choosing meals, no outfits, just a printed schedule — was the most relaxing part of all.
The pair had booked four nights but begged to extend, and left claiming the place exceeded their fantasies. Guests arrive for celebrations, grief, burnout or simple maintenance, and many clearly return for life. For anyone curious about the top end of wellness travel — or wondering whether a week of silence, hikes and foraged meals could actually reset you — this is a rare, funny, unfiltered look inside one of America's most storied retreats.
Reported by Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak for Condé Nast Traveler.
