Flying with small children is hard, and most crew members genuinely sympathise. But there's a line parents keep crossing that drives flight attendants up the wall: treating them as onboard childcare.

Flight attendant Nicole Teshara put it bluntly — being asked to deal with someone's kids is one of her pet peeves, because she has an entire plane of passengers to look after. Her job during boarding is running safety checks and getting the aircraft ready on time, not entertaining a toddler while you settle in. She adds that cabin crew can't hold your child at all, in the air or on the ground, and it's not just a policy quirk. The Association of Flight Attendants-CWA has been pushing to ban lap infants entirely. Union president Sara Nelson points to recent incidents where aircraft hit turbulence and dropped 4,000 feet in an instant — in that scenario, she says, no adult can physically hold onto a child, no matter how hard they try.

The second complaint is less about childcare and more about basic hygiene: handing crew members dirty nappies. One flight attendant told Reader's Digest that used nappies, bloodied tissues and diabetic needles all count as hazardous waste, and that the worst offenders try to pass these items directly into their hands. Even pre-pandemic, handing a used nappy to a crew member was never acceptable — nor was changing a baby anywhere other than the lavatory. Your child's nappy might seem harmless to you, but it's still a biohazard to the person receiving it.

The broader point is simple: a holiday doesn't pause your parental responsibilities. You're responsible for getting your child buckled into their seat and keeping them that way, for keeping the aisle clear during boarding, and for making sure they aren't disrupting other passengers or creating safety issues. Your kid singing down the aisle might be adorable to you; to everyone else on a packed flight, it's noise during the most time-pressed part of the operation.

There's a genuinely useful tip buried in here for parents: consider boarding last rather than first. It shortens the time your child is confined to a seat before takeoff, and it means you're not in the crew's way while they work. Plenty of attendants will still step in to calm an upset child when they can — often because they're thinking of the other passengers — but that's a favour, not part of the job description.

So if you're flying with little ones this year: bring your own entertainment and snacks, do the nappy changes in the bathroom, bag and bin anything soiled yourself, and don't count on a crew member as a spare pair of hands. Cabin crew are safety professionals first, and the smoother you make their pre-departure routine, the smoother your flight tends to be for everyone — including your kids.

Thanks to Explore.com for the original report.