A maitre d' at Leeuwin Estate in Western Australia's Margaret River wine region assumed a lone guest at a three-course winery lunch must be there for someone else. Minor mix-up, quickly sorted — but it captures the biggest mental hurdle for first-time solo travellers: the fear of being visibly, awkwardly alone.
The writer behind this piece has spent two decades travelling on his own, and his central argument is refreshingly blunt: solo travel has an image problem. Somewhere along the way it got branded as an act of bravery, something requiring a special temperament. He reckons that myth is repeated as much by people who travel solo as those who don't, and it scares off perfectly capable would-be travellers who assume they simply aren't the type.
His reality check? No courage required, no experience needed. You just have to want to go. The scariest scenario for most beginners — sitting in a restaurant alone — turns out to be a non-event, because nobody in the room cares. They're eating their own lunches. His solo anecdotes back this up: at 17 he got lost in New York's Grand Central Station; at 24 he was swindled out of a few hundred dollars in Vietnam; at 25 he very nearly got tangled in a jewellery-smuggling situation in India. Mishaps happen, some expensive, some absurd. None, he says, demanded heroics — and if he could muddle through then, anyone can now.
The practical advice for nervous first-timers is sensibly graduated. Start local: a weekend in another city at home, doing touristy things, eating out, having a drink at a bar. If that works, look further afield — he suggests New Zealand, Canada, Japan or the UK as friendly next steps. Day tours can act as a bridge, giving you built-in company while you find your feet in an unfamiliar place, before you venture out solo.
He's honest about the trade-offs, too. You'll spend some meals staring at your phone or a book. You'll hit frustrating moments with no one to lean on and no one to blame. Some people will try solo travel, decide they prefer company, and that's a legitimate outcome. But the upside — seeing places on your own terms, meeting people you'd never otherwise talk to, learning how you handle the unexpected — only goes to those who give it a shot.
Who is this for? Anyone who has postponed a trip because friends couldn't come, or who scrolls solo-travel content wondering if they have the nerve. The takeaway is that the only real prerequisite is a willingness to put up with the odd confused maitre d'. Book the table for one.
